Sunday, March 25, 2012
I have always considered myself a professional shopper. I would go shopping every day if time (& money) allowed it! This past week I needed to buy a few staples for my wardrobe, everything was starting to get baggy & saggy. I spent far to much of my life in clothes like that so once I go down a size a pick up a few things to get me through a few months. In the beginning of this weight loss journey I loved going shopping, I was just so happy when things actually fit right and I could shop in "regular" stores. This past week I went to several stores by myself, couldn't make a decision on anything and nearly cried in one store in the dressing room! I realized I have spent the last 10 + years buying clothes that fit, not putting much thought in to how they looked. At my heaviest I refused to by pants in the next size up so for a while I wore stretch pants to work (and sneakers too since that was the only shoes I could wear). I have no idea what looks good or what my style is. Finally decided I can not go shopping by myself right now. Yesterday I went shopping with my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law and was so grateful to have there opinions. I was tending to look at all the negative things in everything where they were able to help me see all the good :-)
One of my biggest problems right now is I can't wrap my head around the fact that I am smaller. I take my monthly photos to really show myself what a difference there is but this might be the hardest thing my brain has tried to understand LOL. I look in the mirror and can see that I am smaller but my brain still thinks I am bigger. I have no concept on if I am bigger or smaller then someone else. Not that I am trying to compare myself to anyone, I am just trying to "see" what I look like now.
In January I had fill in the band but kept getting stuck on chicken so in the beginning of February I had a slight un-fill. Because I kept getting stuck I was probably a little swollen. I don't think my band was too tight I think my issue was after each time I was stuck I never allowed the irritation to calm down and just kept getting stuck. They took a little of the fluid out to help bring down the swelling and it made a huge difference. After a few weeks everything calmed down and I needed to have that fluid added back in so this past week I had a fill. I honestly hate the days after a fill, all those days with no eating make me miserable!
In February I also finally picked out my wedding dress with the help of my awesome consultant! My bust and hips were two different sizes so we decided to order the dress the smaller size. My dress came in in one week and is about 2 inches from zipping all the way up. Talk about motivation!!! Can't stop now, I have a wedding dress to fit in to!
As of 3/19/12 I was down 81 lbs, pants have gone from a tight size 24 to a 12, and shirts size 2XL to medium!!! I have said it a million times before and will say it a million more times "While the decision to have weight loss surgery is not for everyone, I 1000% believe it was the BEST decision for me!"